I’ve been reading and replying to e-mails all morning, drinking coffee and suppressing the need to pee. I eventually have to give in and rush to the bathroom to relieve myself. First I pee, then I stay on the toilet to see if I can poop. I talk about how I’ve made myself constipated by eating spicy, cheesy enchiladas two days ago. I let out some big, gassy farts. I give a detailed description of the way they feel coming out of my asshole, and the way they smell. After a lot of straining and waiting around, I’m finally able to shit. You can hear the crackling sound of the spicy, cheesy poop shooting out of my ass. I talk about how satisfying it feels to relieve my constipation, and how strong the smell is! I wipe and show you the brown, liquid streaks on the toilet paper. Then I give you a look inside the toilet bowl so you can see my sloppy poop!